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Stars in your Bidet?

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"Deluxe, First Class, Tourist"
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Hotel Bathrooms - Shower, Tub and Bidet

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Stars

In some countries the hotel will plaster its stars over everything: sign over the door, website, letterhead, coasters, toilet paper ... you name it, it'll have stars on it. What do they mean?

Almost nothing ... to you. They obviously mean a great deal to the hotel.

Many countries, including the US, have no standard star system to rate hotels. Most European countries do have some kind of rating system, though, whether stars, or terms like Deluxe, First Class, Standard, Tourist, etc.

Ratings in some countries, Italy for example, are assigned by the government. Usually the rating service is performed by some bureau related to the national tourism agency, presumably as a service to tourists. Some wags, however, would suggest the rating agencies may worry more about serving hoteliers than travelers.

In other places, as in Switzerland, the ratings are volunteer, and established by  'voluntary' organization, such as the Swiss Hotel Association. (Were you a hotelier in Switzerland you'd find it to your advantage to belong ... probably 95+% do. Voluntary is a funny word in Switzerland.) While SHA membership is almost ubiquitous small hotels in very small towns and villages off the normal tourist track tend not to belong. For most visitors to Switzerland, without backpacks, it's rare to find a non-member property.

Whether voluntary or mandatory, all the systems are quantitative, not qualitative. The systems measure 'how many', not how well.

Examples: number of hours room service is provided ... note, though, that an in-room minibar is an acceptable substitute for 24-hour room service!; number of guests per off-street parking space; phones in rooms; TVs in rooms (English-language channels or number of channels not a consideration); hours the front desk is manned; room size (the minimum is very minimum); guests per number of seats in the lobby; minimum hotel size in terms of numbers of beds or rooms.

Suppose your hotel had 35 rooms, a hotel you found eminently comfortable. Imagine, for a moment, how much less you might enjoy your vacation if the same hotel had, instead only 34 rooms! All the same amenities, just one room less. Yet, the former hotel would be a four-star hotel, the latter a three-star.

You get the idea. All of these specifics do have something to say about the level of amenity the hotel may be able to offer. The ratings say nothing about the actual delivery.

Are the views from the room or hotel blocked by other buildings or on an airshaft? Are the maids on strike? ... and can you tell the difference? Are the linens soft or scratchy? Is the hotel so historic that the dirt under the bed goes back to George Washington? Snarly front desk staff? You'll never know until you get there ... or until you get recommendations from others.

The ratings will give you an idea of what, relatively, you'll pay. Most five-star or top rank hotels charge more than most four-star or second rank hotels. And from the ratings you can safely assume that the top rank hotels, on the whole, have a bit more to offer than the second rank hotels ... though what that difference is may be a bit hard to identify, and may or may not be important to ... you.

In general terms the definition of star ratings are common among European countries and not dissimilar from US descriptions by the AAA, for example. You may, however, find some subtle differences between countries. Cleanliness, as an example, has, perhaps, a different meaning in Switzerland than in one or more other countries.

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Here's a digest of the not-untypical Swiss Hotel Association criteria, with most of the quantitative items missing:

5-star (Luxury): Very high standard of comfort and facilities including all rooms with private bath, color television and 16/24-hour room service. 90 hotels (4%) are so classified.

4-star (First class): High standard of comfort and facilities including all rooms with private bath and 16/24-hour room service. 60% of rooms with color television. Over 400 hotels (17%) qualify.

3-star (Good middle-class): Very good standard of comfort and facilities including 75% of rooms with private bath. Minimum size of hotel: 10 rooms. About 1,000 hotels (44%) fit the bill.

2-star (Comfortable): Good standard of comfort and facilities including 30% of rooms with private bath. Around 500 (22%) hit this mark.

1-star (Simple): Simple, clean accommodation offering basic amenities. Seems hard to find these, but there are about 300 (13%).

Pensions, the lodging establishments, not meal plans or retirement plans, are also frequently rated. As a broad generalization a pension of the first rank will compare to a hotel of the second or third rank. Again, though, reputation and recommendation are more important than rating.

Other Rating Systems

You're perhaps familiar in the US with Mobil's stars and the AAA's diamonds  which mainly cover North America. The Michelin Red series covers much of Europe with a similar rating system of six steps which look like Monopoly houses and hotels.

Just as in the board game, the bigger the building, the better the rating ... and the more expensive. You'll feel like a king if you stay in a castle! In addition to the six classes there are two modifiers, "modern" and "agreeable".

All three rating systems, like the country systems, are, more or less, internally consistent. Don't look to find agreement between systems, though. And all suffer from emphasis on quantitative measures rather than qualitative, as well as often stressing public spaces (bars, lounges, restaurants) even at the expense of sleeping room evaluation.

The most universally useful rating system is probably that of the Official Hotel Guide (OHG) which in three volumes covers the world, more or less. Unfortunately it's extremely expensive, out of reach of most consumers, and is not available online. Your travel agent will have a copy in her or his office, though. (And if they don't, they shouldn't be your travel agent.)

This system is of interest because many hotels and tour operators use it to describe properties since it has, at least in theory, common definitions around the world. The steps: Superior Deluxe, Deluxe, Moderate Deluxe, Superior First Class, First Class, Moderate First Class, Superior Tourist, Tourist and Moderate Tourist; plus Limited-Service First Class which means the guest rooms are good but the public spaces are limited.

Superior Deluxe properties are limited; you'll find most of them only in very major cities (Rome, München, Zürich, Geneva, for example) or resorts. Most "deluxe"hotels fall into the Deluxe or Moderate Deluxe steps. Superior First Class or Moderate Deluxe usually describe most big-name downtown business hotels. In the US the midrange motel chains would mainly be categorized in the Moderate First Class or Superior Tourist categories.

You'll see, if you look back up the page) that the Swiss (and many other European systems) call a hotel of the second rank, four-stars, "First Class", but the OHG system uses first class to describe the category only four steps up from the bottom of a nine-step scale ... nothing special in other words.

In our opinion, so-called five-star hotels in Rome range from top-notch Superior Deluxe to marginally First Class. Four-stars likewise have a broad range in OHG terms, running from probably Moderate First Class to Moderate Deluxe or in fact Deluxe. And this, of course, is a partial explanation for why you can see in Rome and elsewhere a broad range of prices within in what might otherwise be thought of as a single classification like Deluxe or First Class.

If you're browsing tour brochures they'll very often use the OHG system, so you'll understand why so many tour participants are often rudely surprised when they get to their first "First Class" hotel. Indeed, as you browse hotel websites or brochures you should be careful in interpreting such descriptions as "First Class", or Tourist". Good reason to be chary of such descriptions.

Especially on your first trips to Europe it's wise to largely ignore hotel ratings. Depend on your budget and recommendations from other travelers. After you have some experience under your belt you're likely to note, for example, that you're most comfortable, most often, in four-star hotels, with an occasional five-star or three-star being preferred.

Once you get to that point you can probably run through hotel listings in a new location more quickly. We'll focus on four-star hotels most often as an example, and tend not to look at threes or fives unless the fours don't pan out.

Even then you can be fooled. We know a fine "two-star" hotel in Switzerland that has no room telephones. These are required for a three-star rating ... which the hotel doesn't want. In Switzerland, you see, there are strong social pressures to 'conform' to pricing 'norms'. (We call it price fixing in the US.)

By retaining a two-star rating the hotel can keep prices lower than (equivalent-but-for-the-phone) three-star hotels to attract more business and hence make more money. Canny, eh? But just one more reason for you to seek personal recommendations and the opinions of respected guidebooks.

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Hotel Bathrooms ... Showers, Tubs, and Bidets

Bathtubs are more common than stall showers, and perhaps preferred by more Europeans. They often/almost always have a spray head on a flexible hose attached near the faucets. In many spots there is usually no curtain or  full surround. Successful use requires a certain set of learned skills to avoid swamping the bathroom. Although, it is not uncommon to find a drain in the center of bathroom floors.

Showers in more or less the form most Americans would recognize, whether separate stall or integral to tub, have become more common. More and more have curtains or partial or full enclosure.

Rooms with shower only are not uncommon, normally found in lower-priced properties, or smallish, relatively inexpensive rooms in otherwise more upscale hotels. The "bath down the hall" facilities are more commonly shower than tub.

Despite the above generalizations, there are, honestly, few that can be safely made. We've stayed in many, usually luxe, grand old hotels built in the 20s or 30s with showers as a part of the tub, quite like those you would have found at a similar time in American luxe hotels.

If the question of shower or tub, and type, is particularly important to you it is best to ask the hotel directly exactly what kind of facilities they provide.

European bathrooms may offer another surprise or two. You may find a cord or chain protruding from near the shower or tub. Don't hang your hosiery to dry on it. Don't try to turn the light on with it. It's an emergency cord, similar to what one may find in a hospital bathroom. If you'd like to take your shower alone without the entire hotel staff dashing into your bathroom,   leave the cord be!

The bidet, of course, is the butt of many jokes, to coin a phrase. If you think your bathroom has two toilets, you've just found a bidet. Often used by Americans and others for washing the feet, socks or underwear, it's actually a quite smart substitute, to some degree, for a shower.

Most of us use a shower but once a day. The bidet, though, may easily and conveniently be used as often as desired. There are times when one might want to freshen up a bit. That's when the bidet comes in handy.

Keep your eye on the faucets, as water adjustment requires some care. Temperature, of course, is an understandable concern. The force of the water is another reason for care. There are different types of bidets, but some will produce a jet approximately the height of Geneva's Jet d'Eau with only a partial turn of the faucet. Be sure you don't excavate the ceiling over you into the room above ... considered a definite no-no by savvy travelers.

Perhaps you'll discover why the bidet is a popular European fixture. They're readily available in the US for those sold on the advantages.

And then ...

What you see may not be what you get. Compliments of the participants on Fodor's Europe discussion forum, here are translations between hotel websites and reality:

Charming ambience: Not newly renovated
Old-World charm: Never renovated
Historic: Dilapidated
Understated elegance: Spartanly furnished
Evokes another era: Shared bat
h and no Internet connections, CNN or minibar
Cosmopolitan: Little English spoken
Private: An hour from where you want to be
Warm hospitality: No air-conditioning
Cozy atmosphere: No lobby
Overlooks ocean: Long walk down to beach
Climate-controlled room: The window opens
Features double-paned windows: noisy beyond belief
Secluded: Can't find it in broad daylight without a Global Positioning System
Access to gym: half-way across town and you have to pay a hefty membership fee
Dormered rooms: Can't stand up if you are over 5'5"
Popular hotel: All the down-scale tour groups stop here

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Published January 25, 2001
Last Revision August 27, 2001

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